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There are always at least three alternatives

Many will know the following situation. You have concrete ideas for the annual target planning about what you want to do in the following twelve months – e.g. the innovative project, the oversea assignment or the advertising tour in a neighboring country. The boss has unfortunately different plans – e.g. administrating the customer data, preparing the move into a new location and the revision of internal documents. Besides the wide area of compromises, there are always at least three alternatives that result from your desires and the proposals of the boss.

Entscheidung04

Which basic option do you have?

  1. I manage to convince my boss.
    It seems unfair that the superior does not assign the desired tasks to you. It is perhaps only because of the fact that he does not know your ambitions. As long as you do not try to convey your own wishes comprehensibly, you cannot expect that these come true. Clarify the three reasons, why exactly you are the right person for the innovative project. Show your abilities that qualify you for the assignment overseas. This includes for example the mastery of foreign languages or personal experiences in the country of destination. Put these arguments into the balance, if you want to go on an advertising tour in the neighboring country. Convey your ambitions in such a way that the superior understands the future benefits that he will achieve as soon as he gives you the task. Only if your point of view is known, you can expect that the boss acts accordingly. Make efforts to regularly demonstrate your strengths. Then your desired door will open.
  2. I change my expectations.
    At best you adapt. Finally we are the ones that have full control of ourselves. However, this does not mean that you let yourself control by somebody else and pass the choice over your own fate to other people. But some tasks are more attractive, than they seem at first sight. The experiences that you can make, when you administrate the customer data, can by far exceed the superficially missing fun of the innovative project. Also the new contacts that result from the relocation can bring in the long run more advantages than the assignment overseas. The general knowledge that you acquire by revising the internal documents, exceeds the insights that you can collect with the marketing tour. At first sight you apparently give something up. In fact, you win valuable new options by adjusting the own expectations.
  3. I change the job.
    The first two points represent the two poles black and white. But life happens in the grey area between the two. However, as soon as you find no compromise that appeal to you AND your boss, you still have the third alternative – you separate. Take your needs seriously. If you do not convince your boss and you are not convinced by any of the offered alternatives, then you may be in the wrong place. You will quickly notice that you get considerably farther, when you search consequently for a new challenge. Do not hesitate to change the job, when you find something else that pleases you. You do yourself AND your boss a favor, if you untangle the unsolvable knot.

Bottom line: If both parties can not give up their point of view and ‘both-and’ is not possible, there is still the third alternative. You can avoid the unsolvable decision, by simply separating. The frustration that evolves, if you avoid the third alternative only because you postpone it, the damage will be bigger than the change that you have to face.

Simply attentive

The urge of further improving the economics brings the staff members, above all, more tasks, which have less available time for execution. This results in pressure that produces physical and mental damages. Subsequently the ability gets lost to be simply attentive at any time.

Aufmerksamkeit

The current situation is determined by the own mental state and the mood of the partners. In order to use the various perspectives, one has to take time to make oneself aware of the different points of view. This is valid for the own convictions, opinions and experiences, but also for trying to understand the mental world of other people and groups.

Experienced reflections that will be ever easier over time become possible through a set of smart questions. The following aspects enable the dispute with yourself and putting oneself in the position of others.

  • Context
    A situation always happens in a certain environment. At which times (when), in which environment (where), with whom (who), by using (by what), with which emphasis (why) and for which purpose (what for), happens something (what)? Only the procedures that take place in the context should be considered. All others should be excluded.
  • Influence
    In a situation various interests collide. For this reason you should limit yourself to the circumstances that you can influence. Which components of the context are important (which) and can be affected by yourself or by others (who)? Only the facts that can be influenced make a difference.
  • Procedure
    The event is defined by the acts that proceed in a certain order. What triggers the situation (Cause), which steps take place in which order (Sequence) and what results from the situation (Outcome)? The procedure provides the individual causes and effects that result eventually in the outcomes.
  • Perception
    Our perception is limited by the own horizon. One way to overcome this restriction is the consideration of all senses. What can be seen (visually)? What can be heard (auditory)? How does it feel like (kinesthetic)? What can be smelled (olfactory)? What can be tasted (gustatory)? Through the consideration of the different sensory stimuli you receive a comprehensive impression of the circumstances.
  • Core
    The insights that one connects with the circumstances, make the core of the conditions more concrete. What does one learn from the situation (Insights) that is useful (Advantages) or harms (Disadvantages) oneself? The point of view is extended by the consciously made pros and cons and minimizes unintentional effects.
  • Concernment
    The unconscious influences become visible by looking at the own convictions. Which values will become injured and which negative attitudes are confirmed by the situation? The recognition of the intuitive influences de-emotionalizes the evaluation of the situation.

If you look at the six aspects from the own perspective or with the eyes of others, you can receive a comprehensive overview of a situation at any time.

Bottom line: In order to be simply attentive, it is important to recognize and to examine with the above questions the involved points of view. Thus one gets away from the naturally subjective perception of the conditions and gets a clearer basis for effective discourses.