Archiv der Kategorie: English

Listening

The urge of letting others knowing your stand point drives some people with a prepared script into a conversation. Almost like a voice recording the dialogue starts and unwound without break. Normally the content is coherent. The outline contains the relevant aspects. Occasionally, the audience participation is inserted in terms of questions. The own point of view is well elaborated and provided with a catchy conclusion. Nevertheless, the discussion does not lead to the desired end. On closer look, you recognize that you missed the opportunity to listen to the listeners.

Listen

A conversation consists less of talking but of listening. What you hear provides so much contents that you could limit your talking on what the listener is really interested in.

  • Do the counterparts ask questions?
    The best hint for additionally needed information is a straight question by the listeners. This enables to adapt your expression in such a way that the others can better understand. It is a bad luck, not to notice these questions. On the one hand you miss the opportunity to express yourself appropriately. On the other hand negative feelings grow within the questioner. For this reason you should enlarge on questions under all circumstances. Even if it is only the indication that you answer all questions at the end.
  • Do the participants seem to lack some information?
    The listeners often use the moment, when the speaker takes a breath, to step into the breach in order to also say something. This is usually feedback that clarifies, what was understood so far or what might be missing. If you listen attentively, you can hear these misunderstandings and react with additional explanations. As speaker you should be better prepared, as the participants. Therefore you are able to provide the appropriate clarification.
  • Do the counterparts have no additional information need, if they are asked?
    At the end of the presentation in any case you should ask, whether there are open issues that came up within the conversation. If there are questions that go beyond what you know, you can later deliver the appropriate information. If there are no further wishes, it is the right time to agree about the next steps and to terminate the conversation. When you finish earlier than planned, it is great. The counterparts will be grateful to be given some unplanned time.

Additionally it is worthwhile to take a look between the lines.

  • Are the counterparts in positive mood?
    The positive tendency of the opposite can be seen, if they listen attentively nodding and smiling.
  • Are there signs of disinterest?
    As soon as the gaze of the listeners deviates to the mobile phone or the watch or the listeners start yawning, the ice becomes very thin. In this case you can arouse renewed interest by raising the voice, changing your posture or through a deviating comment.
  • Do people show resistance?
    Facial expressions, gestures and postures show resistances. A turned down mouth or a grasp to the forehead or, if an opposite turns away, indicate a large probability that resistance is growing. This can go so far that the participants start disturbing.

At the end of the discussion it is helpful to briefly summarize the results. If the audience signals agreement, then you reached the end of the conversation. However, you should not expect that everything is already understood or that an agreement has reached. It takes at least one night, in order to give the batch run in the mind the opportunity to reconsider the results. Afterwards nothing or everything bars the way to getting a closing.

Bottom line: The discussion consists not only of talking, but, above all, of listening. In the feedback of the counterparts you find hints about their needs. At the same time the body speaks a clear language. By observing attentively the counterparts you get important reference points concerning their mood. On this basis, you can design conversations more effectively. Therefore – more listening.

The overall context determines the understanding

The language does not offer an adequate base, in order to interpret a phrase.  Let’s pull one of world literature out of its context “The husband asked, would she allow him to smoke, obviously not with a view to smoking, but to getting into conversation with her.” You can better understand what is happening, if you know that this is a sentence out of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoj. The internal images adapt immediately. If you realize that you are in a train compartment you get even close to the circumstances. The following illustration creates on the left a frame condition and offers on the right goods for smokers. Which one fits best? That depends on the mental framework in your mind, because the overall context determines the understanding.

contextsmoking

If you prepare a lecture, you have to take care of the circumstances. There are three aspects that affect this total context.

  • The presentation
    Since you can only understand the things that you can express with words and pictures, the designing of the presentation is a pre-requisite for the transmission of meaning. Most of the times people limit themselves to the determination by facts that are worth it to convey. Unfortunately, many stop there. The information should always be translated attentively into the appropriate words, metaphors, and visualizations that can be understood by the target audience. The dissemination of the own ideas is the real purpose. Eventually the worm has to taste good to the fish, not to the fisherman.
  • The event
    The interpretation framework that is created by the event, determines the exegesis of the messages. The title of the event, the various subject areas and the participating presenters with their program items give the attention of the audience a certain direction. Presentations that do not fit within the framework will have difficulties to attract sufficient attention. For this reason you should always consider, how you can shape your contributions to the event. At least titles, examples and presentation style should fit into the program. Eventually the messages need the loosened soil in the consciousness of the audience, in order to strike roots.
  • The target group
    The total context is determined by the background and the technical field of the listeners. The cultural background can be derived from the place of the meeting. If the addressees come from the western hemisphere, they are for example coined by values, as good and bad, right and wrong. The eastern heritage is based on the balance of Yin and Yang. Accordingly, the desire for acknowledgment is more pronounced in the west and less in the east. The attitudes of the expected participants can also be derived from the event. It is mainly a matter of distinction, whether it concerns technique, sales or leadership oriented listeners. In any case the presentation should be adapted to the respective cause. Eventually there is no general sequence of the lecture that fits for all imaginable opportunities.

Each spectator and all speakers bring in their total context. The effect of the exchange of information is a result of the overlap that you achieve between the total contexts. How far you create this, can be recognized by the reaction of the public.

Bottom line: The overall context determines the probability that a message reaches the target audiences. Here it is not a matter of your own preferences, but above all the adapted presentation, the general framework of the event and the respective target audience. Since the context always changes from one to the other event, the appropriate conceptions should always be adapted to the respective case, because the total context determines the understanding.